oh dear...

I have been a terrible blogger lately! This term was crazy (I managed to get myself a 3.81 though) and this break I have spent a lot of time doing a lot of nothing - and loving every minute of it.

Absolutely Abigail has been good to me, but I had trouble finding a "theme" I liked. I didn't really know how to just write about my life, and I wanted to find a way to do that...enter "Dear Abbie" - my latest project. You can check it out here :)

I'm sure you all know the famous advice column, good ol' Dear Abby...I'm doing my own spin on that - letters to myself, telling me everything that has been going on in my life - the events, how they make me feel, random thoughts, etc. I'm a Pinterest addict (you can find me here) so I'm sure lots of pictures and things of that nature will find their way into my new blog.

I really need a creative outlet and a break from the crazy while at school, so hopefully Dear Abbie will be just that. Hope to see you over there!

xoxo Abigail

fill in the blank friday

Well, we have reached the end of another week. Almost.

Just four hours of work and one hour of class stand between me and my weekend which will be spent enjoying the company of my boyfriend, seeing my parents and brother for the first time since my sister's wedding, and hopefully catching up on all the sleep I've missed out on this week! And studying. But we won't talk about that now.

This was another crazy-busy week, complete with a breakdown (I'm starting to sense a theme for this term). It went relatively well though - I got a midterm back with one of the five As in class, and talked to my boss about reducing my work hours, receiving immediate stress relief just knowing that I have more study-time on my hands.

I'm currently trying to find sleepiness - I know I'm exhausted but for some reason am too wired to sleep - so here are this week's blanks! Link up with the little things we do if you want to join in!

1. My favorite thing about this week was/is my reduced stress level, my A on the midterm, my boyfriend visiting tomorrow, and seeing my family Saturday!

2. Colder weather makes me want to be all snuggly. And wear hats and scarves. All the time.

3. Three things that make me terribly happy as of late are Skype dates, hot showers, and Law and Order: SVU.

4. If I could only wear one kind of shoe for the rest of my life, I'd choose ballet flats. They're cute and functional, and they look great with everything! Plus you can wear them every season.

5. My personality type is Type A! I've taken personality tests and am an ESFJ - it means I like people, am level-headed, and value feelings and predictability. Or something like that...sounds about right!

6. I have a serious problem resisting sweets. Anything lacy. Hats. Thrift stores. Books.

7. My favorite color to wear is anything earth-toned...so boring but I love it!

Happy weekend, everyone!

fill in the blank friday

Oh my goodness gracious, what a week it has been.

College is stressing me out like nobody's business. This weekend, as you'll recall, included a little breakdown...a lot of homework, a lot of studying, and a whole heck of a lot of my good buddy stress.

This weekend won't really provide me with a whole lot of rest, but at least I won't be in class for two days. I'll take what I can get.

I worked this evening and am being an abnormal college student by staying in on the second night of the biggest party weekend of the year. Tomorrow will involve studying, catching up with old friends (my old babysitter and her family, to be exact), work, and then heading to Bend late (like, really late) for a little Halloween fun. (I'm not a total party pooper!)

Right now I am snuggled up comfortable under a blanket with Law and Order: SVU in the background (love me som Christopher Meloni!), waiting for my laundry to dry...sounds like a nice Friday evening to me!

I am also working on this week's blanks from the little things we do. Link up if you want to play along!

1. When I was a kid I wanted to be a teacher when I grew up.

2. As an adult, my dream job would be a wedding planner and mama.

3. When I was younger I wanted to be just like my big sister.

4. The childhood Halloween costume that I remember most was when I was a duck. My mom made me a costume that included wings and a hat that had a beak and eyes on it. It was my last real Halloween costume...until this year :)

5. My favorite childhood toy was Barbies! My sisters and I had bins and bins of them and would dress them up for hours. I was also partial to My Little Pony. We had a lot of those too.

6. The time I got into the biggest amount of trouble when I was a kid was when I...there really isn't anything I can think of. I was quite the goody-two-shoes. Am quite the little goody-two-shoes...I really didn't get in trouble that often!

7. I get daily inspiration from my family and friends, thinking of my future, Pinterest, and page-a-day calendars.

Have a great weekend, everyone!

the one in which class was cancelled and i decide to ramble incessantly

I'm supposed to be in class right now...but I'm not. Don't worry, I'm not skipping - it was wonderfully cancelled last night, causing me to do a happy dance on the spot because now my presentation (in Spanish, mind you) has been postponed until Tuesday. Its cancellation last night was the icing on the cake of the best day ever.

To avoid any confusion, it really wasn't the best day ever. Certain events fooled me enough to say that, but I've seen better days! Not that yesterday was bad by any means. Wow, I'm confusing. Just go with me, okay? It was a fantastic day, but I use "best day ever" a little bit too liberally. That's all.

Sometimes I ramble. It's best to just go with it.

Anyway, yesterday was a typical Wednesday - also known as "not my favorite day of the week". (As far as weekdays go, I usually like Tuesdays and Fridays. On the weekend my one true love is always Sunday.) I have class and work and class and work up until 5:00, then usually have something I have to work on for Thursday, which makes it pretty stressful.

Yesterday I walked into my afternoon class to learn we had a quiz. It was a terrible surprise. Not that it was a pop quiz - it was definitely on the syllabus. So that was my bad...I blame the fact that the quizzes have been consistently pushed back and I just assumed that it would be on Friday rather than yesterday...clearly I need to pay more attention in class and check Blackboard with more frequency.

Needless to say, I completely bombed that quiz. Couldn't even BS my way out of it, I was so thrown off.

That's a bad day for an overachiever like myself.

As we were leaving class, I was talking to one of my friends (and by talking I mean freaking out, just so we're clear) about this term and how much it's stressing me out.

I was explaining to him how ridiculous this term is. I'm taking five classes (six if you include my workout class, which isn't challenging in the sense that I have to work hard to get an A, but does still take up my time, which is really valuable this term). All of my classes are upper-division and they are challenging me like nobody's business.

Every single one of them requires a lot of reading, studying, and hard work in general. I am busting my butt to try to get good grades in all of them, but that is completely overwhelming me and causing all sorts of breakdowns.

The past few weeks I have been swamped with midterms, quizzes, and presentations, and have all sorts of reading to keep up with on top of that. Add my 20 hours of week a work (another place where I bust my butt to get things done because that's the kind of employee I am), and I have to use every second of my time wisely in order to stay on top of anything, which results in an extremely routine day that leaves me exhausted and worn out in all sorts of ways.

This leaves a stressed-out shell of a girl who is prone to breaking down at any sign of something going completely against my plan.

Take for instance my advising appointments on Monday that left me in tears - long story short, my regular advisor wasn't there so I met with someone else who proceeded to freak me out about my future and even my hopes of graduating this term (that deserves its own post, so stay tuned), and I left the office in a state of tears.

After that crying outburst I went and met with another advisor for my minor and was told that my credits from Spain couldn't be applied how I wanted them to be unless I showed proof of the work I did over there...which would be extremely difficult because the only proof I have left from taking the classes are my grades in them, as the notes and tests were recycled in Santander.

This, obviously, resulted in more tears. Because I rarely cry, and never cry over "stupid stuff" such as what I was crying about, this made me more upset and cry even more...it was rough.

I told all of this to my friend and my head started to spin again, like it always does when I'm getting too worked up about something that I can't immediately or easily fix.

After all of this he told me he was going to Central Oregon this weekend and would be willing to give me a ride to Bend to see my boyfriend after work on Saturday.

And so, the best day ever began.

I went to work, happily informing my boyfriend that he'd be graced by my presence (ha!) this weekend. The rest of the evening followed my usual routine of going to the gym and finishing homework, this time a little more stressed out than normal because I got home later than usual...I was just entering panic mode when I received a phone call from my friend from Spanish class telling me that she had just received an e-mail about class being cancelled tomorrow.

And the best day ever continued.

And now here I am, avoiding any studying (justified because normally I'd be in class right now, so this time isn't time I would spend studying anyway) and enjoying some therapeutic writing. I have work in a few hours, followed by two classes, then hopefully a somewhat relaxing evening because nothing is due tomorrow...this week is definitely on the upswing.

And who knows? Maybe today will be another "best day ever"! It's already moving in that direction :)

Happy Thursday!

Fill In the Blank Friday

Poor (or very strategic) planning on my part has left me with wet nails and absolutely no way to do anything for the next hour or so, in danger of smudging one of my lovely Under My Trench Coat by OPI nails.

Darn.

I guess that leaves me to spend my evening catching up on blogs and playing around on Pinterest (you can find me here).

Shoot.

Can you tell I'm not too upset about this? I have pretty music coming through my speakers (Brett Hite's acoustic version of Wishing Well - listen here. You won't regret it), I have a pumpkin spice candle flickering on my dresser, I smell like Philosophy's Cinnamon Buns, I don't have anything to do homework-wise for tomorrow...it's a nice way to wrap up my week! Except there's that whole work and class thing tomorrow.

But we're not talking about that right now.

My week has been busy with work and class - midterms are in full swing, so I've been studying like even more of a madwoman than usual.

This weekend brings work at the volleyball games plus lots of studying, and hopefully a shopping date with my sister and some much needed rest!

We'll see though. My life has been anything but restful these days...thank goodness I like it that way! But really, what does a girl have to do around here to get a nap?! Probably not work so much. Or study so much. Or work out a lot.

Huh.

Anyway, to celebrate Friday and my re-entrance into blog-world, here are this week's blanks for Fill In the Blank Friday over at the little things we do...

1. Nothing says fall like anything pumpkin or spice related. And pretty trees dressed in their best colors, pushing up to a crisp blue sky. And boots with scarves. And knitwear. And Thanksgiving. And crunching through leaves. And the smell. Oh dear, don't even get me started on fall. It's my favorite time of year.

2. My favorite autumnal tradition is Thanksgiving! It's the same every year - my sisters and I cram on the couch in PJs to watch the parade while I try to convince my dad football was cancelled for the day (he never falls for it, obviously, but he caves to his middle daughter and retreats to another room to watch the games with my brother). Then my mom and I run around making dinner while everyone else relaxes. When everyone starts smelling food and hearing it come out of the oven, my sisters decide to "help" by doing the difficult chore of setting the table (ha). I force everyone to change out of their sweats and into something nice, then we stuff ourselves silly. My mom and I clean up, then we all relax before taking our Thanksgiving afternoon walk before returning home for leftovers.

It goes like that every. Single. Year. I love it.

3. My favorite fall treat is...I actually don't think I have one. I love the smell of everything and anything pumpkin, but I don't have some specific treat that means fall for me.

4. Fall makes me think of being happy because that's what happens without fail every fall. I always loved back to school, the weather, and even football season (although I'm not a fan of the game). I get so excited every year for fall, and I'm always sad to see it go.

5. Autumn free form word association, go! Crisp, lovely, delicious, perfect, October (best month of the year!).

6. My go-to outfit in the fall is skinny jeans, boots, cardigan, scarf, and some sort of knit hair wrap. I wish I could dress for fall all year long! Layers are my one true love. Okay that might not be true. But it feels true.

7. My favorite fall holiday is (Halloween or Thanksgiving) Thanksgiving! I think we just went over this :) It's the perfect holiday - simply enjoying food and family and life, without too much hubbub. It's understated and lovely, just like fall is.

Go ahead and link up if you'd like! Hope you all have a lovely weekend!

♥

What are you doing with your life?

It's a fair question.

I've basically fallen off the face of the earth - the blog earth, at least. I am involved in the real world full-force, kicking ass (or getting my ass kicked, depending on the day) and taking names. I miss my little blog though - and I still read all of yours religiously!

I never wanted my blog to be a day-by-day chronicle of my life - I love reading blogs like that, but I just didn't want to write one myself. I always wanted it to be a blog filled with my deep thoughts and musings, a blog that made people think or question or wonder themselves.

But I've discovered that life isn't always like that - you can't always have the big, deep things. But the day-to-day stuff? That happens every. Single. Day.

So now, welcome to my blog - a blog that might have the big stuff, but will be filled with the little stuff too. Because, as cheesy as it sounds, the little stuff makes up the big stuff, and it's just as - if not more - important.

So what have I been up to these days? A lot.

I returned from Spain and went straight to work as a front-desk receptionist at and office on campus. I worked full-time all summer, absolutely loving it. It was my first summer on my own (I stayed in my house up at school alone), and while sometimes I got lonely, I absolutely loved it.

My summer was also spent helping my sister get ready for her wedding - I was the maid of honor, which means I got to do fun things like plan her bachelorette party. We went to Portland and had dinner and caught the drag show (it was amazing, and we loved every minute of it). The bride-t0-be wore white and all the girls in attendance wore black, so we were an easy group to spot wherever we went:

My lovely sister and I before heading out for the night.

I also planned and hosted a bridal shower for my sister...it was boring, as I find most bridal showers to be, but I was pleased with my decor and the goodies I made!

A homemade crepe paper flower ball alongside my homemade treats - coconut cupcakes, lemon meltaways, and shortbread cookies with blueberries.

Finally, on September 17 my sister got married. It was a lovely wedding with a fantastic reception. Everything went off without a hitch and we all had such a fantastic time.

My sister and I on our way to the reception - better pictures to come soon!

My now (but not then)-boyfriend and I on the way to the reception. He was the best man in the wedding.

Soon after the wedding, classes started up and we're now in week four at school. This means it's midterms season and that I am crazy busy with 20 hours of work as a receptionist, 10 hours a week at the athletic department, and 16 credit hours of school. Add all my studying on top of that and it's no wonder that I only somewhat manage to maintain a social life, and it's also no wonder that that semblance of a social life only occurs on the weekends.

One of these weekends included a visit to Bend to see my boyfriend, who ended up being in the Emergency Room when we (my sister and brother-in-law, his brother, and I) arrived. He ended up being okay, but that wasn't how we envisioned our Friday night going! But a third date at the ER worked out quite nicely for us.

After he was finally told he could leave after six hours of tests.

The next weekend he made the trip to Corvallis for a visit complete with a football game. I had to work the game, but was able to hang out with my sisters, brother-in-law, and my boyfriend for a bit at the tailgate beforehand:

Favorite picture of us so far.

Love my sisters!

And that is my life, ladies and gentleman. On any given weekday I am at class or work by 8:30 (8:00 on Fridays), have class or work until 5:00, hit the gym for an hour or two afterwards, run home and scarf down a quick dinner, then spend the rest of the evening sequestered in my room or the library studying my life away. This term is filled with challenging classes that require a lot of reading and studying.

I do my best to work ahead in my classes to leave the weekends free, which has worked out well so far. On Saturday night I took a spontaneous trip to Bend to see my boyfriend for a day, which I was able to do because I had already worked through all of my homework for Monday's classes. Sometimes being an overachiever pays off, I guess!

I hope to get back into the swing of blogging, even if it's just about my usually mundane, very scheduled life.

La vida es así...

growing up

At some point in our lives, what we do begins to affect others in bigger ways than it used to.

We used to flit from friend group to friend group, not caring to stay too long or get too attached because making friends was easy, and besides, leaving didn't mean not coming back.

We used to flirt and fight and get excited and upset, all in one breath, then go home to our families and not care because whatever, we were babies.

We used to show up when we were told to, do what was asked of us, go home to kill time before doing it all over again, all the while not worrying about what that meant for anyone else, because hey - we were doing what we were supposed to.

We made spontaneous decisions; we changed our minds; we made mistakes and messes. Not a problem.

But then we started to grow up...and somewhere along the way, things changed.

We started to stick with our friend groups, no longer united as "friends forever" just because we were in the same grade. Leaving started to be the end of something - sometimes because we grew separately and took different paths, sometimes because we burned bridges with purpose and intent.

Flirting started to lead to more than fighting - it led to dates and dinners and walks and songs and sweet nothings whispered when no one else was around. And when we went home, we didn't leave the other behind - they stuck around for dinner and homework and cuddles that somehow began to gain more and more significance...this time we could get married, if we really wanted to.

Things we were supposed to do suddenly became our responsibilities, but we were on our own this time. We went to classes and to jobs and to meetings, knowing that us being wherever we were actually meant something.

We couldn't make such spontaneous decisions anymore, because people were counting on us, relying on us, expecting us to step up to the plate.

Any decision made now affects so many others. It's no longer only about me. Given that I'm not a particularly selfish human being, I don't mind. I'm good at responsibility; it suits me...yet still, sometimes it's too much. There's too much riding on me. Responsibilities I didn't know would be mine so soon have become mine, labeled clearly with my name, screaming at me that they depend on me, that whatever I do, whatever I will decide will affect them.

But you know what? I'm 21-years-young. And I didn't sign up for this.

No decision that I have ever made has been made with forever in mind. Not a single one.

And here I sit, with decisions to make. Decisions that I wish only effected me. But it's too late for that. Because I grew up, and that means things aren't as simple.

And that means it's time to grow up some more.