a happy post

As you all know by now, I think and write and live and breathe and exist in lists. Love them. Need them. Can't live without them.

So here is another list for you...a happy list :)

Why I'm happy right now...

1. I made not one, but two batches of delicious cookies tonight. I've been itching to bake all weekend, and today when I reached a stopping point in my homework, I decided it was time to make something delicious. Especially after last weekend's alfajores fiasco (I was making these traditional Argentinean cookies for my Spanish class, and they turned out how they were supposed to, but were far too cornstarch-y for my liking. My poor family was left with the remnants...don't worry, my Spanish class got a less traditional, far more delicious version made with these cookies plus homemade dulce de leche. Yum!). Anyway, after that I decided I should make something more edible. I made these and these tonight - both turned out well and were extremely delicious. My growing-like-a-weed little brother ate half of the thumbprint cookies already. And the chocolate chip cookies are delicious - big and chewy...the best kind of cookie.

2. It's Harry Potter weekend on ABC Family. Remember how I said I wanted to watch all of the movies since I just finished all of the books again? Well, this weekend, they've been showing all of the movies...I watched all of them over the course of last week (I watched numbers 1&2 on Friday, number 3 on Saturday, numbers 4&5 on Sunday, and number 6 on Monday. I have no life.), but I see that as no reason as to not watch them again. See? No life! Don't worry, I just watch bits and pieces while doing homework. I'm an excellent multi-tasker.

3. I was actually productive with my homework today. I have a decent amount of it. I haven't finished any particular assignment, but I have started and gotten a great deal of it finished. I am just annoyed by the fact that I can't cross anything off my to-do list because none of it is actually completed. Oh well, progress is progress!

4. I got 10.5 hours of sleep last night. I know that's not the best for my sleep schedule...but I was so tired due to my four hours of sleep on Thursday night, that I went to bed at 11:45 (fell asleep right away) and slept soundly until 10:15. That is the best kind of sleep. As a person with a history of insomnia, I truly appreciate the gift it is to fall asleep quickly and sleep well and wake up feeling refreshed. Bliss!

5. My nails are painted a lovely shade of Chanel's Ballerina Pink. I'm not one to splurge quite that much on my nail polish (I'm an O.P.I. kind of girl, and even that is a splurge for my college-student budget), but my younger sister bought it last year in exchange for getting her make-up done at some chi-chi make-up counter, so I decided to test it out. It's very, very subtle...you can barely tell it's there, which is ideal for me, the girl who has to take all the polish off once I notice the tiniest of chips in the lacquer.

6. I'm almost finished with my sophomore year of college. This week is "dead" week (which is such an inappropriate term considering the week is completely alive and filled of homework and projects and the only thing that resembles death are us poor students) and next week is finals week, then it's time to go home for the summer.

7. My birthday is coming up. Less than two weeks now (June 11). Not gonna lie - I'm such a birthday diva. I'm better than I used to be, but I still feel like the day needs to be all about me. What can I say? I'm a middle child! Some of my favorite stores have also recognized the importance (ha!) of my birthday. Good ol' Sephora sent me a coupon remind me to pick up my free birthday gift for being a Beauty Insider (in 6-7 days I will be receiving an eye kit containing liner, shadow, and mascara. Yay!). And one of my favorite stores, American Eagle sent me my 20% coupon to use during my birth month. Advertising tricks totally work on me.

8. I was just hit with a wave of sleepiness and I don't have to put off going to bed. I love that about the weekend...no need to stay up all night to do homework. College...who needs it?! Kidding. Mostly.

And with that, good night!

♥ abigail

wish list

Let me paint you a picture.

It is currently 12:26 a.m. I am taking a study break. The first since 3:20 p.m.

Yes, you read that correctly. I have been doing homework for 9 hours straight.

Mostly. I took a 30 minute break to eat dinner, but I was reading my speech as I oversaw my boiling macaroni noodles (gotta love college meals), and the actual consumption of my dinner took place as I finished my slides for my spanish presentation.

But still. That's a whole lotta homework. And I'm still not finished.

Here I am, blogging. I'm beginning if it's even worth staying up an extra hour or two to try to finish everything considering the fact that my brain is pretty much done functioning for the evening.

I have to get up in 6-and-a-half hours to ensure that I look presentable for my speech and presentation (I am just tickled pink that both of those things fell on the same day), as well as ensure that I don't completely ruin my grade by being unprepared.

Remember what I said about needing eight hours of sleep?

Oh boy.

Here is what I wish right at this very moment...

1. That there were magic people in my house that could clean my room for me. I can't sleep when it's messy (read: if there's a single pen out of place), and it currently looks like a homework hurricane recently swept through. My bed is covered with books and notebooks, my floor is littered with pens, paper scraps, and remnants of my poster board. My desk has been taken over by a bottle of juice and a glass of water, and a box of cheez-its; as well as the drawers where I keep my office supplies, contents strewn about. I couldn't find my tape or glue. It was almost a crisis.

2. That there were magic people in my house that could finish my homework for me. Or at least ingrain my speech into my brain while I sleep. I prefer to use my note cards as little as possible, but currently it looks like I'll be using them quite a bit. Good thing my hand writing is impeccable.

3. That there was a way to paint my nails without having to wait awkwardly for them to dry before I went to bed. I'm sure there are fabulous nail polishes out there that dry that quickly, but I'm a sucker for Nicole by O.P.I., and they don't dry quickly. Which is normally okay by me. But time is really of the essence tonight.

4. That I didn't have homework. I miss the days when you came home from school and left school where it was - 15 minutes away - while you basked in the happiness of childhood and not having grades to worry about.

5. That I didn't worry about my grades so much. Honestly, I'm doing well in all of my classes. I have an A in everything as of right now, so a B on one speech or an A- on one presentation really wouldn't be the end of the world. I always think I do worse than I actually do (not as an attention-seeking mechanism, I just always end up second-guessing myself at the last second), and it causes extra stress, which leads to less sleep.

6. That I could go to bed right now. But, as previously mentioned, there is homework to finish and a room to tidy up.

7. That I had a pack of gum. I am a stress gum-chewer. When I start to feel overwhelmed by homework, I chew a piece until it runs out of flavor. I continue this process until (1) I finish my homework, (2) my jaw hurts, or (3) I'm out of gum. I ran out of gum this afternoon. It was an unhappy moment.

I wish more things, but my brain is done for the night.

Hopefully it will grace me with its presence for tomorrow's speech and presentation...

Thank goodness the long weekend is almost here!

♥ abigail

out of character

I'm usually an optimistic person. Which is why it's weird that today I feel like writing a "things that bug me about today" list rather than my usual "happy" list. It's kind of out of character for me, but it's what I need. I think.

I'm blaming it on the weather, among other things. Today I've been irritated by many little things, so instead of dwelling on them for the rest of the day, I'm going to immortalize them here forever. That makes sense, right?

Anyway, here's the "things that bugged me today list":

1. People who walk slowly. In packs that take up the entire sidewalk, making them impossible to pass.

2. People who walk on the wrong side of the sidewalk, refusing to move to the correct (and vacant) side of our little tiny square of cement we're trying to coexist in...it results in an odd version of chicken that I always lose (meaning I always am the polite one who steps aside, despite the fact that it lands me on the wrong side of the sidewalk).

3. Headaches that won't go away.

4. A dishwasher that remained full of clean dishes until I finally gave in and unloaded it this evening. Of course that is when my roommate realizes she can unload it too. Resulting in stepping around each other to empty it, making it take twice as long.

I'm not annoyed.

5. Deadlines that all fall within hours of each other.

6. People sniffling. Loudly. To the point where you can almost hear the snot dripping down their throat. Gross.

7. Walking a mile-and-a-half in the rain while my jeans decided they didn't want to stay cuffed. This resulted in jeans soaked up to my knees.

8. Hair that won't cooperate due to my refusal to straighten it when it's this darn rainy, as well as my inability to remain still while sleeping.

9. The obnoxious girls who were cackling (I swear) on the ellipticals behind me while I tried to bike in peace. They were so loud, not even my iPod could drown them out. There was no way they were exerting themselves in any way, so they should have just walked home together and cackled all they wanted.

10. Not having a free moment to breathe, read, relax, sleep, exercise, or just sit. I am on my allotted 20 minute break I give myself after doing homework for four hours straight. Aren't I considerate?

11. Going to bed at 2:30 because of homework, then getting up at 7:30 to do more before class. I need eight hours of sleep to function like a real human being. You do the math...I'm only 62% human right now.

I feel like there were more things that have bugged me recently...I am a very petty person when sleep-deprived and cranky.

This 62% human being is off to do another few hours of homework before hopefully logging eight hours of sleep tonight....

Wish me luck.

♥ abigail

My role in Disney movies

I have been doing a great deal of thinking about my personality lately.

Some people have forgettable personalities - nothing really stands out about them as unique or odd or exceptional.

I am not one of those people. (I don't think.)

My younger sister and I made this executive decision months ago after realizing that if you have a strong enough personality, you will find yourself in movies.

Yeah, that made a lot of sense.

Let me try to explain a little better - think of your favorite movie characters. They tend to have distinct personalities, right? Mine tend to follow this pattern, but maybe that'd because I'm drawn to characters in movies (and books as well) who I can relate to.

Upon further though, we decided that my personality can most distinctly be found in Disney movies. I find this to be a good thing. Everyone loves Disney movies, so everyone must love me, right? (Gotta love when what you learn about deductive reasoning in COMM class can apply to your daily life!)

Anyway. Due to my cautious, OCD, bossy, worry-wart, overly-analytical, control freak and neat freak nature, I have

found my personality in several movies...

Observe:

1. C-3PO, Star Wars

If I had to pick one character that most accurately represents me, C-3PO would be a dead-ringer for first place. Cautious to a fault, he rarely takes risks. He's a know-it-all who has the tendency to overanalyze every situation. Lucky for him, he has an excuse, being a protocol droid and all. C-3PO and I also both hate conflict and try to maintain the good relationships of those around us.

2. Hermione Granger, Harry Potter

As it turns out, C-3PO might not be a dead-ringer for first place after all. The similarities between Hermione and I are uncanny. While I may not boast her brilliance, I have always considered myself (and been considered) intelligent. I am a stickler for rules and am not afraid of calling people out on it. I found myself confused when people laughed at her now-famous line "We could have been killed! Or worse - expelled" - it seemed to be a legitimate concern to me.

3. Cogsworth, Beauty and the Beast

Cogsworth will forever be one of my favorite Disney characters. While I wish I were more like Belle (our only similarities include our brown hair and our love of reading), I find I can relate to the worrisome clock who craves rules (and following them).

4. Timon, The Lion King

Obnoxious, loud, and bossy. While I try to emphasize other more favorable elements of my personality in my day-to-day life, I tend to acknowledge these ones. I often find myself informing people that I'm obnoxious - typically they laugh as if they don't believe me. I'm really just trying to warn them. Characters like myself (or Timon) aren't usually the easiest to live with. I have always loved Timon, even before I realized I was like him. Plus he knows how to hula...something I could do back in the day. As in, when I was three. But still - similarities are similarities!

5. Sebastian, The Little Mermaid

I love Sebastian. Love him! He is such a rule-follower and has such trouble arguing with authority figures...oh hey Abbie, what are you doing under the sea? I'm not even kidding. Not that I ever really need to argue with authority figures. But, like Sebastian, I really hate conflict. Like, despise it beyond good sense. Like, start getting overwhelmed and stressed out and panicky when someone merely has a heated conversation with another person in the same vicinity as me.

As you can see, I'm an issue.

If you hadn't picked up on it before now, this post just gave you two new reasons why:

1. I look for myself in Disney movies.

2. Then I blog about it.

See? Told ya!

♥ abigail

nothing profound...

I really should be getting to bed...it's week five of spring term (thank goodness it's starting to go by faster!) and midterms are in full swing. Tomorrow I will be rising early (though I probably should say "early" because 8:00 a.m. isn't exactly the crack of dawn) to do some last minute studying before my test, then I have a full day of class and homework and studying ahead of me.

But first, reasons why I am happy today...right now. They're in no particular order and really don't make for scintillating reading, but I feel like I need a pick-me-up, so here goes:

1. Today was sunny.

2. I was able to enjoy the sun with my family (read: my dad, younger siblings and I basked lazily in the backyard in lawn chairs while mom did yard work).

2a. Additionally, I am happy that my Hawaiian-blooded skin allows for me to get tan in such a short time in the sun.

3. The cinnamon rolls I baked this weekend were absolutely divine and worth every calorie.

4. So were the french breakfast puffs.

5. I see Tyler Hilton on Tuesday!

6. California is only 77 days away.

7. It's week five...halfway there!

8. My room is clean.

9. My dear, sweet friend who is in the hospital is beginning to feel better.

10. I left my Bible at home on accident, and was upset about it. (The happy part is that I realized this and miss it - I never even used to read it on a regular basis).

11. My foot lotion smells like coconut.

12. Kelle Hampton's blog makes me cry...in a good way.

13. My dog loves me.

14. I've come to a conclusion of what I want to major in (for this week, anyway).

15. I don't feel stressed. I don't remember the last time that happened.

16. While challenging - and, as of late, heartbreaking - I love my life.

Nothing too profound or exciting. But enough to make me realize that even though it can be hard to see sometimes, we are constantly surrounded by beautiful, wonderful, happy things.

I wish I took more time to recognize these things before I became sad. I'm glad I have this newfound way of storing these happy things. While I dread the fact that I may still wake up in the morning feeling sad, I feel more content in knowing that I will always be able to see that it really is the little things that make me the happiest.

Simple things that are around me every day are all it takes to put everything in perspective - which will someday be exactly what I need.

♥ abigail

lists

Sometimes, it's just necessary to make lists. Happy lists are the best kind, but there are several types that hang out on the post-it notes that constantly litter my desk. Today, there were a few...

For example, the "things to do today" list:

- LAUNDRY!!!

- Groceries?

- Trabajo Escrito (!!!)

- Quia W p.271-272, L p.293

- COMM outline

- Rowing release

- E-mail Cloud, Roger, Cody, Rob

Or take the "things i'd rather do today" list:

- SUNSHINE

- Nap in sunshine?

- Church

- Sleep

- Nothing!

And here's the "things i actually did today" list:

- Church

- Bible time

- Homework (all of it!)

- Laundry

- Grocery shopping

- Baked banana bread

- Laid in the sunshine

- Wrote rowing release

- E-mailed everyone

- Cleaned my room

- Cleaned the kitchen

- Watched two episodes of Kendra :)

Or the "potential schedule for today" list:

8:00-8:50 - Get ready for church

8:55 - Meet Lindsey at church

9:00-10:15 - Church

10:20 - Home

10:25-12:00 - Laundry/Cleaning

***Grocery store?

12:30-??? - Homework

Or even the "potential schedule for tomorrow" list:

8:00-9:30 - Gym

10:00-10:50 - COMM 111

11:00-11:45 - Work on speech in MU

12:00-1:20 - SPAN 213

1:30-3:30 - Lunch/Shower/Get ready

3:45 - Leave for Beaverton

6:00 - Pioneer Woman book signing!

7:30/8:00? - Drive to Eugene

But my favorite list of today was the "why i am happy today" list (this is a list I intend to document in some way everyday. It may be cheesy, but I think it'll help boost my spirits until they remember how to be boosted without the aid of lists on sticky notes):

1. The sun is up.

2. The sky is blue.

3. It's beautiful, and so are you. (Just kidding about #3...I love song lyrics, okay???)

3. (The real #3) Strawberries + Sour Cream + Brown Sugar

4. Grace City Church (to which I wore a skirt, which makes this a double happy reason)

5. Homemade banana bread

6. Face masks

7. Philosophy Cinnamon Buns Shower Gel/Shampoo/Bubble Bath and Lotion

8. My new old hippie bag (a bag that I've had for years, but just found again)

9. Thanks to the power of YouTube, Tyler Hilton can sing to me whenever I want him to (although I'm looking forward to seeing him for realsies [again] next week)!

10. It's a new week, and I feel prepared to face it - homework is finished, room is clean, and I have lists that plan my entire life

Many people might say (and by 'might say' I mean 'have said') that my incessant need to plan things out so meticulously can be perceived as a negative thing...they could be right, but I am of the firm belief that some people just need lists. I am one of those people. And proud of it, mind you! So until I no longer want or need my lists, I will continue making them, leaving post-it note trails in my wake.

One day, I'll write a post on the sheer satisfaction of crossing things off my lists...it really warrants a post all to itself.

♥ abigail

sophomore slump

Ah, the sophomore slump...

I figured it was a myth; that it was nothing to worry about. Now that I'm in the middle of it (at least what I hope is the middle of it), I have discovered how real it is.

Instead of going into excruciating detail that I probably don't want to be all over the internet, I will break down my sophomore slump into a few key points:

1. I live approximately 1.2 miles from the co-op I lived in last year, where a majority of my friends still live.
2. I refer to my apartment as "The Pit" or "The Cave" due to its lack of light. It really is where sunshine goes to die (or more literally, where sunshine never goes. Ever).
3. End of a year-and-a-half long relationship.
4. Lack of a major.
5. Stressful schoolwork load/workload.

If you add 1+2+3+4+5, you get the reason why I often dwell on the fact that I hate my life (I don't really. But sometimes I wish it was different). You also get 15, if you're into being literal. I usually am.

So for this school year (especially the past month-and-a-half), I have been doing a lot of thinking and soul-searching. I wish that this soul-searching had led to answers, but it hasn't. Not yet, anyway. I've been focusing on self-improvement (reading the bible, exercising more, eating healthier, not procrastinating, wardrobe updates), but on some days I am just overwhelmed and don't feel improved at all.

I have learned that in these days, I need to focus on the little things that make me happy. This has led me to another list. Hopefully this particular list will be one that grows as I find more things to love about life, though I hope one day to not require its encouragement.

Abigail's List of Happy Things

((aka the list of things that make me small almost 100% of the time))

1. Sunshine. I love it in all forms, but these days I enjoy it more specifically when it is warm.

2. Driving in the sunshine. I know that's essentially the same as the above point, but today I was driving down Highway 99 while the sun was setting over the hills, and it was beautiful.

3. Happy (country) songs. Country songs tend to make me the happiest because they are so often about happy things (like the summer), but lots of genres have songs that make me smile. Currently my favorite "make me smile" songs aren't even country songs (I like "Broke Down Hearted Wonderland" by Edwin McCain, "Naturally" by Selena Gomez [hey - don't judge me!], and "Hey, Soul Sister" by Train).

4. Waking up to blue skies. This is really self-explanatory.

5. Skirts and dresses. For some reason, I feel like I look so much better in skirts and dresses than I do in pants. I feel prettier and more put-together without feeling too dressed up. Plus, the past few months have added four new skirts to my wardrobe (don't worry, the total set-back was only $45 dollars - I'm a frugal shopper!): a distressed denim mini, a flowered cotton flowy mini, an adorable striped mini, and a high-waisted floral number complete with a belt. I haven't worn them all yet, but am definitely looking forward to the perfect opportunities to present themselves!

((list to be continued...))

As you can see, my happy emotions tend to stem from the weather. I think I suffer from some level of seasonal depression, so the recent appearance of the sun has really been helping me out this last week.

Here's to the sunshine sticking around!

♥ abigail