Thursday, September 30, 2010

I'm famous

Shut up, shut up, shut up!

(This is one of the instances in which it doesn't mean be quiet, as explained in The Princess Diaries.)

"Shut up" is kind of my new catch-phrase. Along with "shut the front door". That one is actually my favorite.

But that is not the point right now.

Here is the point.

Remember that concert I went to last spring? Featuring the love of my life, Tyler Hilton? Read about it here if you don't remember...

Remember now?

Okay.

Well, at his concert he did this little sing-a-long thing for a music video he wanted to make. He recorded the crowd at each of his shows singing a line or two from his song "I Believe In You" (you can listen to it here).

Now it's a few months later...and he posted the video. I watched it, knowing that even if I wasn't seen in the video, I knew I was there and that's all that counted.

I watched happily, posted it on the facebook of the friend I went to the concert with, telling her I didn't see us but that we were there.

Something possessed me to watch it again, and this time I found myself! I was so excited. There I am, hanging out with good ol' Tyler Hilton in his music video...and that has made today a fantastic day, despite the fact that it's the worst day academically.

I'd embed the video in the post but since it doesn't belong to me, I'll just give you this link and tell you to check it out...there's a good view of me around 0:53 to 0:57.

See the blonde girl in the bottom left corner? Good. See the girl behind her and to the left? Okay good...then look behind her to the right, and there I am! I'm standing next to the tall guy (who is one of the few males in the shot).

And there you have it...my claim to fame :)

And what's even better than that, I see him in concert again on October 10!

Seriously, I love my life.

♥ abigail

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

i love my life

Today, I feel lazy.

I don't have class until 2:00. 2:00! If I had it my way, I would be completely finished with classes by 2:00.

I suppose I could change around my schedule, but I basically formatted my entire schedule around my 2:00 class, Spanish 311.

Spanish 311 is getting into the nitty-gritty grammar of Spanish, which is kind of disconcerting to me...this means there's no excuse for little goof-ups in compositions anymore! And the book has no information on culture. And it doesn't have any pictures.

So we'll see how that goes.

I took this class at this specific time because I love the professor. I had him for the entire 200 series of Spanish, and I found that his teaching style and my learning style were very compatible. I love when professors want you to learn rather than just absorb and regurgitate information for tests.

Because of this professor, my entire schedule is all sorts of crazy.

I have class at 2:00-2:50, 3:00-4:15, and 6:00-8:50 on Mondays. Not so thrilled about the late class, time-wise, but the class will be fabulous and probably result in many a deep-thinking blog post.

On Tuesdays, I have class at 8:30-9:50, work from 10:00-11:40, class from 12:00-1:20, then 2:00-3:20. This is a long day, and a very boring one. Good thing it ends with Glee, otherwise I might be going crazy at the end of it.

On Wednesdays, my day is supposed to start with class from 11:00-12:30, then 2:00-2:50, then 3:00-4:15. Today there was no lab at 11:00, so I slept in until 10:00. Not because I'm lazy...I've had a cold for a while and it's still working its way out of my system. I got up and did homework before taking a nap, and now I'm waiting class-time so I can do something productive with my life!

On Thursdays, my schedule is the same as Tuesdays except for no office hours. It will still be a boring day, one that doesn't end with Glee or any other TV show now that I've decided Grey's Anatomy is stupid.

On Friday, I have work from 11:30-1:30, then class from 2:00-2:50.

Oh, the life of a college student.

Throw in a lot of naps, gym time every day, too many trips to the grocery store, many a-PB&J, studying, and lots of laughter with the roommates, and you have my life.

I love my life.

♥ abigail

Monday, September 27, 2010

first day of school

Tonight I realized something important about myself:

I will always, always, always be excited for the first day of school.

I really can't help it.

As a kid, I looked forward to everything going back to school meant: new shoes, a new outfit, school supply shopping the second the supply list arrived at our house, seeing friends, even homework (I've always, always, always been a nerd as well).

Even now, I still look forward to these things. Obviously things have changed a bit, but some things remain the same.

I still get new shoes, but now they're more of a want than a need.

I still get new outfits, but rather than buy something specifically for school, I look for many ways and occasions to wear my clothes (including in professional settings because I'm old now).

I still look forward to school supply shopping (much like my movie heroine, Kathleen Kelly from You've Got Mail, who wishes she could send Joe Fox "a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils"). Something about new notebooks and pens and, yes, newly sharpened pencils (always Ticonderoga) is so welcoming to me. It's as if in these supplies there lies all sorts of possibility and promise for something wonderful to occur.

I still look forward to seeing friends, especially now that college is often the only thing we share...at the end of each year my friends and I go our separate ways for the summer, and it seems as if we lose touch until the school year rolls around again (I completely blame myself and my contentedness to be out of touch for this epidemic).

And yes, I still look forward to homework. Once it becomes overwhelming, I get over it, but there's always something so exhilarating about the first assignment of the year.

Tomorrow (today, technically) is the first day of school.

I've been moved into my house since Thursday and am absolutely loving it. It's so cute and charming and lovely and wonderful.

I love my roommates, I love my room, I love how close we are to campus and to college life.

I love the neighbors' noise that keeps me up at night, I love the sunshine that streams in my windows in the early morning, I love the easy one-block walk to my sister's apartment.

I love that my room this year is already more lived-in than my room last year, I love the creaky wood floors that I try to tread on lightly so as not to wake my sleeping roommates, I love the worn-in feel of my new home.

After a few days of settling in, I am ready for school to start. One can only sit on the front porch with Jane Eyre for so long before they get bored of reading and want to do something. Although Jane Eyre will soon be replaced with $250 worth of textbooks, at least it will be productive.

And although someday in the near future I will probably complain about the fact that it's too cold to sit on the front porch to read, as well as the fact that I no longer have time for Jane Eyre, for now I am embracing the excitement that the new school year always holds.

♥ abigail

Monday, September 20, 2010

weekend recap + a happy list = ♥

This weekend was a fabulous little glimpse of what my life will be like this year...and I couldn't be more excited to get back in the swing of college!

A brief recap of my weekend:
Friday
- Set up my bed frame (I now have a bed that isn't on the floor - score!)
- Worked two soccer games for my internship with the athletic department (this involves updating the game tracker throughout the game)
- "Decorated" my room (aka putting up my bulletin boards and adorning them with my pictures and quotes)
- Hung out with my roomies (this involved the awful-yet-delightful show Four Weddings)
Saturday
- Chopped my hair off
- Got ready for work with my roomie/co-worker (walking into each other's rooms to discuss outfits and when to get to work is far more fun than texting each other about it)
- Worked at the football game ("I'm not the biggest football fan" would be the understatement of the year for me, but I managed to make it through the game without getting too bored...I forgot how much I love my coworkers!)
- Returned to my lovely house full of roomies
- Went over to my sister's apartment to hang out
Sunday
- Church
- Went shopping with my momma and younger sister for back-to-school things (I found nothing I needed, but enjoyed being out with my mom and sister anyway)
- Relaxed


It was a full weekend, which I loved, but I haven't had a lot of time to write. I realized that I'm a much happier person when I'm utilizing some sort of creative outlet (and writing is about the only creative thing I can do, besides think...don't get me started on my lack of ability for anything remotely artistic), so I've decided that even when I don't have time to write about something deeply fabulous, I should still be writing something.

This decision caused me to remember the early days of my blog, when I made happy lists, much like this one. Remembering this led me to remembering how much happy lists improve my mood - for one, they're lists, but they're also reminders to me of just how blessed I am.

I think a lot of people (myself included) need a swift kick in the pants every now and again to remind us just how blessed we all are. Even in the worst times and darkest of days, I believe that there is something (or several things) to be grateful for.

Enter the happy list. I never want to be so bogged down in my own ish that I forget how fortunate I am. I find that to be inexcusable behavior in myself - it doesn't matter if I feel like my life is going the wrong way or if I've had a particularly awful day - there is no reason to let myself have such a negative attitude that it brings down everything good in my life.

And even when things are great, that doesn't mean I don't need my happy lists...in my opinion, those are the easiest times to make those lists because there are so many things to put on it.

All of that above rambling is my way of announcing to the world (or my three readers, whatever) that happy lists are going to be showing up in my blog more.

So here are some reasons as to why I'm happy these days...

1. J. Crew Factory Store has launched an online website.
This suddenly makes J. Crew affordable to me, which is dangerous, but I'm okay with that. Because, honestly? How cute is this top?

(image courtesy of jcrew.com)
Yeah, that's what I thought. Online shopping for me is like playing with fire...but don't worry, I limit myself!

2. How I Met Your Mother was back tonight.
I got hooked on this show this spring. I was having a hard time of being alone without some sort of distraction after my breakup, so I filled the silence with this fantastic show...I watched all five seasons. Three times. Each. Needless to say, I am addicted. I got my older sister and younger brother addicted as well, so we were all very excited for it's return tonight. My brother and I watched it together and were not disappointed. Oh, the return of fall TV...I love and loathe it. But right now, mostly love.

3. Glee is back tomorrow.
I watch too much TV. I'll admit that right now. But I figure as long as everything I need to do gets done and I don't turn into a complete couch potato, I'll be okay. I started watch Glee a few weeks ago with my younger sister after she got her wisdom teeth out. She started watching it online and I fell in love. We are beyond excited for tomorrow's episode.

4. Accomplished everything on my to-do list today.
It was a long list, which makes that even more exciting. I had quite a few errands to run, and I accomplished them all in about two hours, which I consider to be very successful. One of these errands was depositing $42 in the bank...in coins. And no quarters were involved - just nickels, dimes, and pennies. I think the teller was very grateful that I had already rolled everything...and I was very grateful for money for new shoes!

5. I sent people mail today.
I love receiving mail, so I'm assuming other people do as well...I love writing letters, so I did just that today. Two friends will be receiving things from me in the next few days, which makes me very happy. See this post for more details about my love of letters...did you know they're raising the cost of postage again? That makes me sad for our mail system...I love old-fashioned mail! I'm making it my mission to give our postal carriers something to do, so I think I should invest in stamps again before prices are jacked up on me!

6. I'm loving my new haircut.
I have this weird thing about not taking pictures by myself, so I won't be able to show the world my new do for a while, but I can just tell you - I'm obsessed. I hadn't gotten it cut for six months (gross), so it was getting pretty long and raggedy...any semblance of bangs I used to have were gone, and the ends were split up the wazoo. I decided to be brave (my roomie had to coax me a little bit) and cut it right to my shoulders with a lovely little sideswept bang (that cannot be tucked behind my ears, which was always my cop-out on getting bangs). I love love love it.

7. I am all packed for school.
On Sunday after my shopping expedition with my momma and sista, I decided I would clean my room and pack for school. Cleaning my room proved itself to be a huge challenge...for some reason I feel the need to save everything I have ever received/made/stumbled upon. In my entire life. What do I really want with old, dried-up corsages from homecomings and proms? Or post-it notes with cryptic notes scrawled on them? Nothing, that's what! So I threw out and recycled most of my high school experience (or so it seems), and packed up what was left...save from the items on hangers in my closet, everything's packed up and ready to go to my new room at school.

8. I am SO excited to get back to school.
This year is going to be great...I can feel it. I love my house and its location, I love my job, I love my room, I love my roommates, I love the direction my year is taking. I am so ready to dive into new classes, new school supplies, and new experiences.

9. My cousin wants to be pen pals.
My uncle is in the Navy, so my cousins have lived all over the place for as long as I can remember. When we were younger (aka before the days of facebook), we kept in touch via snail mail. Today he asked if I wanted to start that up again, and it made my day. I really need to go get those stamps now! (See number 5. But surprisingly, he wasn't one of the people I sent letters to today.)

10. "Skinny Love" by Bon Iver.
I can't explain my love for this song. Please just listen to it here. Be prepared to fall in love.

11. Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro.
This was recommended to me by a friend. I read it in one day - I loved it. Granted, it doesn't take a lot for me to love a book, but this one was actually of good quality. The writing was beautiful and the story was intriguing. The movie came out (in select theaters, which means no where near me) last week, and I'm anxious to see it. I definitely recommend reading it!

And this concludes this evening's happy list...why are you happy today?

♥ abigail

Friday, September 17, 2010

fill in the blank friday :)

Thanks to the lovely Lauren at the little things we do..., I have something to do at 1:14 a.m. while I wait for my laundry to finish drying! And if I'm being honest, which I always am, I've been waiting for Fill In the Blank Friday all week long.

I've officially run out of things to do this summer, and with 10 days until school starts up again, I'm looking for things to occupy my time - there are only so many books I can read before my head is full, things I can bake before I run out of ingredients, and so many episodes of Law and Order: SVU I can watch before I feel violated in some way...

So thank you, Lauren, for giving me something to do! If you'd like to play along, make sure to link up to her blog, and check it out while you're there! It's definitely one of my favorites.

1. When I get a day to myself I like to do whatever it is I've been wanting to do that requires my family to be out of the house. While I'm at my parents' house and I get a day when everyone is gone, I like to bake something delicious and then clean the entire house, all the while listening to my music. With so many people around all the time, it can get a bit chaotic. For some reason, I can't work in the kitchen if anyone else is in there, I can't clean if other people are in the same room, and I can't fully enjoy my music unless my siblings aren't around to offer their peanut gallery comments (my music taste, while far from eclectic, isn't what they'd consider to be mainstream, so they have trouble appreciating it)

2. High school was a time in my life when I thought I had it all figured out. I know better now, but it was still a good feeling! I loved high school - there were only 130 of us per class, so we knew everyone in our grade pretty well. I was on top of the world in high school. I was involved in everything I could be from sports to leadership to newspaper, so I felt like I ran the school.

3. A little dream I have is to live in a pretty little house by the ocean, a meadow, or my sisters. Bonus points if it's all of the above!

4. A big dream I have is to find my real passion and pursue it happily for the rest of my life.

5. If I could drive any car, my pick would be...not a clue! I know nothing about cars, and have often received lectures about the differences between cars and trucks and vans and pick-ups and whatnot. I only differentiate between cars and trucks. I would really just be happy with something that runs.

6. A time that I felt really and truly beautiful was when I was in California this summer. For some reason, no make up + a little sunshine + a lot of family love is the perfect equation to make me feel like a pretty girl. Not to mention there was a cute boy who was telling me I was beautiful, which is always a step in the right direction...

7. Tomorrow I will...be up and at 'em bright and early to take a load of stuff to my house at school. Then it'll be off to work at a soccer tournament for my internship with the athletic department before I head back to my house to unpack and start getting settled in with my new roomies.

♥ abigail

Thursday, September 16, 2010

I'm an issue

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I have issues.


There are probably a few others you have picked up on: I tend to ramble. I overuse ellipses. Ditto for parentheses. I appreciate sentence fragments. I think zucchini is disgusting. I have too many clothes. I think children's books are acceptable reading for a college junior. I make lists in order to function.

And then there are those that you probably haven't picked up on. I'm sure you will, in due time...but here is one that's been nagging at me all day. So, rather than face it like a normal person...here I am, blogging about it. This issue (maybe if I called them quirks it'd give me less of a complex) has surfaced more and more consistently lately. As in, this week. Today, even.

So here is the latest issue for you to laugh at, relate to, puzzle over, ignore completely...it's up to you!

I have major anxiety about checking my e-mail...
For some reason, it terrifies me. I know I should check it more often - my bosses at school use it as a way to communicate with us interns, the woman whose kids I watch e-mails me to set up times for me to come over, I get important e-mails regarding school...but I just can't seem to login. I don't know why it scares me. I do know that while I love technology, I hate that people feel they can get in touch with me at the drop of a hat.

Last year this became a problem for me. I was really busy with school already, and then work (I was contact for the men's rowing team, which meant I was responsible for previews and recaps for races) got busy as well. If I let an e-mail sit in my inbox too long (30 minutes) without responding, I was sure to get a text message asking how the story was coming. I can't stand that kind of pressure! What if I wasn't near a computer? I often wasn't, but I had to learn to drop everything and respond to those e-mails.

I don't think that we should have to be bound to our computers 24/7. Or our fancy phones with e-mail capabilities. But that's another post for another time.

But really. Checking my e-mail makes me anxious. I haven't checked it for about four days. I know there are important e-mails in there too. But here I sit, blogging...and not checking my e-mail. It can't be that bad, right? I'm still not convinced.

...and checking my voicemail.
I'm not even kidding. If I miss a call, and see the little voicemail icon on my screen...I am ner-VOUS. Don't ask me why. Unless the caller was one of the six people on my speed dial (2 - Home, 3 - Dad, 4 - Mom, 5 - older sister, 6 - younger sister, 7 - brother), it takes me at least 24 hours to listen to the voicemail. Then another 24 to return the call, all the while I'm left nervously dreading the fact that the caller just might call again.

...I think we'll just leave this one as an issue rather than a quirk.

You still love me, right?

Don't answer that.

♥ abigail

think about it

Just a warning to anyone who is reading this - I'm going to be on my soapbox for this post. I try not to be preachy when I write, but sometimes there are just things I need to get out. I figure that since it's my blog (also known as my space to rant and rave about who knows what), it's allowed. Encouraged, even. Right?

So here I go. Stepping up now...

Something that bugs me more than most things (I would say more than anything in the world, but that changes with the day, so I have to be careful) is when people don't think for themselves. I used to be one of those people.

This isn't to say that I was a pushover (definitely not), but I definitely didn't question things as much as I should have. Sure, there wasn't a lot of need to question the things I learned from teachers over the years, but I feel almost embarrassed when I look back and realize how easily I believed something just because it came form the mouth of someone who had some sort of power over me.

During my freshman year of college, I lived in a co-op with 43 other people, mostly freshman. While I loved them, and many are still near and dear to me, my biggest problem with was the ease with which they accepted the things said by the house director and house owners.

If there was a new rule instated, rather than say, "Hey, why did this happen? Isn't this our house too? Shouldn't we have a say in this?", the student leaders helped enforce it.

I was a student leader at the house, and expected to call people out if they were breaking rules, but as the year wore on and I started thinking more independently, I couldn't for the life of me figure out why I was helping enforce rules that I didn't agree with.

I didn't completely rebel, but it was soon made known how I felt about certain rules and regulations that I was expected to enforce. This led to discussions with the house leadership, where a compromise was reached: I wouldn't break the rules I didn't agree with, but I wouldn't actively enforce them either. Basically, I would be following the rules, but looking the other way if someone were to break one in my presence.

Not exactly a great compromise, and not exactly the effect I was hoping to achieve in my first real anti-establishment moment...but it had to do for the time being.

I ended up moving out at the end of the year rather than live there again. I couldn't stand the idea of going through another year following rules I didn't agree with, and I didn't think I could maintain my sanity while watching my friends happily follow rules they didn't agree with because it was easier than confronting anyone, or watching my friends not even question why certain rules existed when I know that if they would have stopped for a second to think about it they would have seen how ridiculous it was.

I realized that a big problem that my friends had, and that we as people face, is believing something because someone tells us that's the way it is. A lot of the time, we don't even think about it. We don't question it. We just hear it, consider it briefly (though often this step is omitted), and move on with our lives without giving anything a second thought.

I think that this needs to change.

I see so many people around me turning into carbon copies of their friends, their parents - the people they look up to, the people whose approval they crave. They hear what they think on an issue, and rather than thinking for even a moment on what their stance is, they have agreed with them.

We give too many people in our lives the power to make our important decisions for us. For some reason, we value the opinions of others over our own. For some reason, we believe that thinking will take too much effort. For some reason, we have no problem being like everyone else. (Read this post if you want to hear me rant and rave about this subject...I'm trying to stay on topic for once in my life!)

And that, my friends, is one of my biggest problems.

People are afraid to think for themselves. I still haven't figured out exactly why that is. I find thinking to be a wonderful activity. I get something in my head, turn it over and over, examining it from every angle. I come up with new ideas, try to figure out how it relates to other things in my life. I turn it over again, I examine it from every angle again...often I end up right where I started, exhausted and overwhelmed by my thought process.

And then I pick it right back up again.

Because independent thinking is necessary. We can't live our lives accepting whatever comes our way. At some point, it's necessary to fight back. This isn't to say that we can't agree with people. By all means, agree with people! But don't be afraid to disagree with them either.

Don't be afraid to challenge people's views, your own views. Don't be afraid to shake things up, to make changes. It's only through thinking outside of what we're told and outside of what we know that we can ever learn anything.

And isn't that really what life is all about?

Buddha once said, "Believe nothing just because a so-called wise person said it. Believe nothing just because a belief is generally held. Believe nothing just because it is said in ancient books. Believe nothing just because it is said to be of divine origin. Believe nothing just because someone else believes it. Believe only what you yourself test and judge to be true."

It's worth considering.

Stepping off my soapbox now...but really. Think about it.

♥abigail

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

a wee bit of me

It seems as if just when I was getting excited about being back on top of my writing game, writer's block decided to come back and hang out with me for a while.

It's not a severe case (I hope), because I still have ideas floating around in my head...the execution of those thoughts is proving to be a bit troublesome though.

To remedy this, I realize that the cutesy little "take me back to the days of myspace bulletins" (does anyone else remember those?!) survey things could be of assistance. They provide me with a more structured way of getting my thoughts out, and while it may be less "real" than my usual writing, I can't complain about the fact that when I do the surveys, I'm writing again.

So here is one from a blog I've recently discovered, my leigh ashley. Her blog is adorable, and inspires me to make and find and do all sorts of pretty things. Until then, here is "a wee bit of me" (make sure to link yours to her blog if you participate!):




{one} have you ever won a trophy? if yes, for what?
The only trophy I've legitimately won was in seventh grade when my team won our school's 30th annual basketball tournament. I'm not sure that counts as a legitimate win though, because I definitely sucked at basketball and probably played for about a minute total. My friend gave me a huge trophy with my name on it for my 16th birthday, but I don't really think that counts. Most of the awards I've received during school were for academics. Go figure!

{two} what was your favorite subject in school?
In high school, I loved my creative writing class and newspaper. I was Editor-In-Chief, and I was very happy to be in control. In college, my favorite class is spanish. I am absolutely in love with the language, and I have a great professor. He's the kind of teacher who really wants you to learn what he's teaching, so rather than going exactly by the lesson plan, he makes sure we fully understand what we're talking about. Plus, I'm not gonna lie to you - he's easy on the eyes. But please notice I said that last...I have my priorities straight here!

{three} what time do you get up in the morning?
Lately I've been tossing and turning for hours before I can fall asleep, which leaves me drifting off around 3:00 or 4:00 and waking up around 10:00 or 10:30. It makes me feel incredibly lazy, but since the kids I nanny are back in school and since I'm stuck at home without a car all day, I suppose it doesn't really matter when I get up. Normally I like to be up and at 'em by 9:00. Once school rolls around hopefully I'll be back on schedule!

{four} if you could open your own business, what would it be?
Something to do with books and writing. Or baking. Every time I try out a new recipe my brother informs me that this recipe will do really well at "our" bakery. He decided that he (at 15, mind you) will be the manager, I will do the baking, my younger sister will work at the counter, and my older sister will clean the shop. Apparently this will be the new family business?

{five} if you could spend the evening with one rock star/band, who would it be?
Well, you know how much I love Tyler Hilton. So that would be nice.

{six} what sitcom character reminds you of you?
Monica from friends, hands down. I am Monica. Every time my family watches the show together and Monica has one of her Monica moments, my family looks at me and says, "Abbie..." Every. Single. Time. It's the anal-retentiveness, mixed with the control-freakness, added with the love of all things clean...I can't help it. I'm such a Monica.

{seven} what are the 3 most important things to you?
Family is definitely the most important thing. I love my extended family just as much as my immediate family. We're a very tight-knit group. When I was in Portland last weekend and my cousin dropped everything to come pick us up and make us dinner, he told us that his girlfriend wasn't exactly thrilled that there was going to be unexpected company that evening. He also told us that he told her, "Sorry, but there are 144 people in my family, and they're all more important to me than you." Now, he may not have actually said this, and I sure hope it came across as sounding nicer if he did actually say it, but I loved it all the same. Because that is how important family is.

Also important to me are being a good person. And living a good life. Not a good life in the sense that I want to live "the" good life...just a life where I do good. No, I didn't mean do well. I want to do good.

{eight} chips or popcorn?
Depends on the moment, but usually chips. Pop chips are currently my favorite.

{nine} have you ever ordered anything from an infomercial?
No, but I'm often tempted! I always love to check out the "As Seen On TV" walls in stores, but I'm still too chicken to buy anything from it.

{ten} what is one thing that you are grateful for today?
Is it cheesy to say my life? Because every day I wake up knowing that I have a life to live, and that even though I may not have it all figured out, it's mine and it's beautiful.

♥ abigail

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

word vomit?

Over the past year, I've gone through periods of major writer's block.

I would start writing, work at it for a while, then end up looking at a blank screen yet again. After a while, those blank spaces start to appear very daunting and unforgiving, which leads me to avoid writing all together.

Then I would be left waiting for inspiration. Sometimes it would come within an hour, but a lot of the time it took a few days or weeks for me to get writing again. I'd get excited, but soon I would be faced once again with the blank page, and the cycle would continue.

So, naturally, when the urge strikes me to write, I take full advantage...this should explain the onslaught of posts from me these days.

For some reason, inspiration has completely taken over, and I always can find something to write about. When I find myself alone with my thoughts (plus a little background music), my mind starts to wander, and it ends up going places where it digs up some profound thought, some tale to tell...and immediately, I feel compelled to write.

Even when I'm not alone with my thoughts, I find things to write about. Last night I received an unexpected phone call from a friend that inspired me in all sorts of ways (look for a more detailed post on that in a day or two - I'm still working out the thoughts in my brain and they aren't quite ready for public viewing), including the post pushing destiny.

I am so happy to be writing again. I am very happy to have an outlet such as this where I feel like I can ramble...because really, that's all I want. I ramble on a daily basis to the people around me, and it's nice to know that there are a few people who aren't around me are semi-interested in what I have to say.

I hope this lack of writer's block (what's the technical term for not having writer's block, anyway? Word vomit seems appropriate, but I hate to call my writing vomit...) lasts...I will be taking full advantage of it for as long as I can!

♥ abigail

Monday, September 13, 2010

pushing destiny

People spend a lot of their lives banking on the adage, "If it's meant to be, it will be."

I'd love to agree with that.

For the most part I do, but what I don't agree with is how people choose to handle this statement.

Many people take this statement and hold onto it for all it's worth. They figure that what's supposed to happen will happen, and they get lazy. The next thing we know, everyone's resting on their laurels waiting for things to happen, rather than making things happen.

This expression causes people to take things for granted and to sit around in anticipation of something happening, but that's not how life works.

This isn't to say that I know how life works. But I know that if you want to see results, you have to put in some sort of effort. I know that if you want to get somewhere, you have to move. I know that wanting something to happen and making something happen are two completely different things.

I know that wishing and hoping are all well and good, but can't get you very far. I know that as much as we'd like to, we can't rely on other people to do everything for us. I know that getting things done requires work.

Yes, people believe in God, in fate, in destiny, in karma...but none of those things will help us out if we're just sitting around and waiting for them to take the initiative for us.

Sometimes destiny needs a push in the right direction. Sometimes we need to get up, roll up our sleeves, and find ourselves up to our ears in a mess that is life.

But that's the point - life is for living. It's not going to wait for us to figure that out, either.

It's up to us to create our own destiny. We need to be self-reliant. We need to take a deep breath, and we need to dive in. We need to shake things up. We need to give life the opportunity to give back to us.

By making things happen for ourselves, we're allowing something greater than us to help guide things into place.

So yes, if it's meant to be, it will be - but only if you decide to do something about it.

What are you waiting for?

♥ abigail