Wednesday, October 27, 2010

taking control

As you may know, I am obsessed with quotes.

I tried to count how many are in my room right now, and lost track - they are tacked up on bulletin boards, plastered on my walls, stuck on the shelves above my desks, and taped up all around the mirror on my closet door.

My favorite quotes tend to be a little cheesy...I really like daily inspiration and affirmation.

My favorite right now is in my room and my bathroom, and is from Bill Cosby:

"Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it."

This has become my mantra these days. Every day I make the conscious decision to take charge of my own life, to make the big decisions that need to be made - because if I let fear get to me, what am I left with? Not a lot.

I don't want to reach the end of my life and look back with wishes - not necessarily regret, but pangs of longing for not doing what I could have done out of fear.

Because honestly, what is there to be afraid of? It's only life - and what's more, it's the only one we get. I don't mean to sound like a motivational poster, but that's really something I've been focusing on lately.

While I've been in college, I've been blessed to have people in my life who push me to get past my fears. They are the people who fit a quote posted on my wall right next to my desk:
"Nobody knows your limits better than you do, but every once in a while somebody will question all you know, and they will push you for the better."
I love these people.

One person tried for a good chunk of time...he ended up getting fed up with my inability to conquer my fears of everything. After he was gone, I started getting braver. I'm not sure exactly how that worked...looking back, I think when I had him being brave for me, it allowed me to further immerse myself in the role of meek, timid Abigail. (Not that I'm a meek or timid person by any means...I'm usually pretty take-charge and authoritative, but there are some situations that I shut down in.)

Another person came into my life this summer who didn't so much push me into conquering fears, but he had this great seize-the-day attitude that was nothing short of infectious.

His passion for living was so inspiring that it got me thinking about how my life so far hadn't been passion-driven or exciting or seized.

I didn't realize that he had such an impact on my thinking until recently. I called him for advice when I felt like my life was falling apart due to my lack of direction, and he worked his magic until I calmed down and felt like I had a better grip on things.

After that conversation, I started seriously considering what direction I wanted my life to take, and how I was going to make things happen...and even though things aren't turning out like we discussed, he still somehow helped point me in the direction that I'm going now. And let me tell you - this direction is very exciting, and I will hopefully have news about it to share sometime soon.

The point of all this is that I have decided to stop living scared. I need to take chances, step outside of my comfort zone, and realize that actually living is more important than fear.

So here goes nothing...or here goes everything. But I'm going, and I'm not going to hold myself back anymore - because really, what's the point?

Thanks to those who helped me realize that.


No comments:

Post a Comment